If a drunk or drugged driver hurt someone you love
You can talk to someone tonight.
MADD keeps a helpline open every hour of every day, including right now. A trained victim advocate answers it. It is free, and it stays free.
If you’re in crisis right now, you don’t have to wait. Call or text 988, day or night.
What happens when you call
Nothing you have to prepare for.
Most people don’t call because they don’t know what they’re walking into. So, plainly:
- A person answers. A trained victim advocate — not a form, not an application.
- You don’t have to know what you need. “I don’t know why I’m calling” is a normal way to start.
- It costs nothing. MADD provides all of it at no cost to victims and survivors. There is no version of this that ends with a bill.
- You don’t need a case. No police report in your hand, no charges filed, no conviction, no lawyer. None of that is required to be helped.
- You don’t have to be the one who was hit. Parents, partners, children, brothers, sisters, best friends — MADD serves families and survivors, not just the person in the car.
- It doesn’t matter how long ago it was. Last night or eleven years ago. MADD supports people long after the crash, and grief does not expire.
What they can actually do
Real things, done by real people.
- Sit beside you in court. An advocate will physically go with you, so you are not walking into that room alone.
- Explain what is happening. The criminal case, and the civil side if there is one — in words that make sense the first time.
- Help you write your victim impact statement. That is the part where the court has to listen to you. It is worth getting help with.
- Put you in touch with other survivors. People who already know, so you don’t have to explain the whole thing from the beginning.
- Point you toward the practical help — counseling, compensation, the paperwork nobody warned you about.
- Stay. Support groups in some areas, and support that continues long after everyone else has stopped asking how you are.
Missouri — and this one has a deadline
You may be owed money, and there is a clock on it.
Missouri runs a Crime Victims’ Compensation Program for people hurt by violent crime, and impaired driving counts. It can help with medical bills, counseling, lost wages and funeral costs.
You have two years from the date of the crash to file. This is the part people miss — not because they don’t qualify, but because no one told them in time.
- Up to $25,000 in total. Funeral costs up to $5,000. Lost wages up to $400 a week.
- No conviction required. The driver does not even have to have been caught.
- The crash does have to have been reported to law enforcement, and you are expected to cooperate with them — there is a good-cause exception if you couldn’t.
- It pays last. After insurance, restitution, a civil settlement, a GoFundMe. It covers what is left, not what is already covered.
- You don’t have to do the paperwork alone. This is exactly the kind of thing a MADD advocate helps with.
Missouri Department of Public Safety · (573) 526-6006 · cvc@dps.mo.gov · Apply or read the guidelines
Why this page is on a sober-living website
Because we needed it once, and nobody handed it to us.
We should be straight with you: Sobbr Life is not a victim services organization. We’re a women’s recovery housing network. We can’t be your advocate and we won’t pretend to be.
But this whole organization exists because of a crash. On February 10, 2021, a drunk driver killed Skyelar Kelly. She was seventeen. Her friend Izaiah Salyer was seventeen too. Neither of them came home.
Skyelar’s mother went looking for what to do next and found very little laid out plainly. So this page is the page we wish someone had put in front of her — the number, what it costs, what they’ll actually do, and the deadline with a clock on it.
We stand with Mothers Against Drunk Driving and with every family working to end impaired driving. We say crash, never accident: an accident is weather, and this was a decision somebody made.
Locally
MADD Heartland — the Kansas City chapter.
MADD Heartland is the chapter serving this area. If you would rather talk to someone local, or you want to volunteer, walk, or bring MADD to a school or a courtroom, start here. The 24-hour helpline works either way.
Want us to walk in a MADD event, host a panel, or stand with you on something? Tell us — we show up.